My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my bureau and lifted
out a tissue-wrapped package. "This," he said, "is not a slip.
This is lingerie." He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip. It was
exquisite; silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. The price tag with
an astronomical figure on it was still attached. "Jan bought this the
first time we went to New York, at least 8 or 9 years ago.
She never wore it. She was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is the occasion." He took the slip from me and put it on the bed with the other clothes we were taking to the mortician. His hands lingered on the soft material for a moment, then he slammed the drawer shut and turned to me. "Don't ever save anything for a special occasion. Every day you're alive is a special occasion."
She never wore it. She was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is the occasion." He took the slip from me and put it on the bed with the other clothes we were taking to the mortician. His hands lingered on the soft material for a moment, then he slammed the drawer shut and turned to me. "Don't ever save anything for a special occasion. Every day you're alive is a special occasion."
I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that
followed when I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores that
follow an unexpected death. I thought about them on the plane returning to
California from the Midwestern town where my sister's family lives. I thought
about all the things that she hadn't seen or heard or done. I thought about the
things that she had done without realizing that they were special. I'm still
thinking about his words, and they've changed my life. I'm reading more and dusting
less. I'm sitting on the deck and admiring the view without fussing about the
weeds in the garden. I'm spending more time with my family and friends and less
time in committee meetings. Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of
experience to savor, not endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments now and
cherish them.
I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and
crystal for every special event-such as losing a pound, getting the sink
unstopped, the first camellia blossom.
I wear my good blazer to the market if I feel like it. My theory
is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries
without wincing. I'm not saving my good perfume for special parties; clerks in
hardware stores and tellers in banks have noses that function as well as my
party-going friends'.
"Someday" and "one of these days" are losing
their grip on my vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want
to see and hear and do it now. I'm not sure what my sister would have done had
she known that she wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we all take for granted. I
think she would have called family members and a few close friends. She might
have called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences for past
squabbles. I like to think she would have gone out for a Chinese dinner, her
favorite food. I'm guessing-I'll never know.
It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if I
knew that my hours were limited. Angry because I put off seeing good Friends whom
I was going to get in touch with-someday. Angry because I hadn't written
certain letters that I intended to write-one of these days. Angry and sorry
that I didn't tell my husband and daughter often enough how much I truly love
them. I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that
would add laughter and luster to our lives.
And every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself that it is
special.
Every day, every minute, every breath truly is...a gift from God.
If you've received this it is because someone cares for you and it
means there is probably at least someone for whom you care. If you're too busy
to take the few minutes that it would take right now to forward this to ten
people, would it be the first time you didn't do that little thing that would
make a difference in your relationships? I can tell you it certainly won't be
the last. I don't have to make up silly stories about people being hit by buses
or crushed by falling disco balls for not sending this letter on. You've seen
the result of this neglect in your own relationships that you have allowed to
fade, dissolve, and fall into disrepair. Take this opportunity to set a new
trend. Take a few minutes to send this to a few people you care about, just to
let them know that you're thinking of them. It's even better if they're not the
people you already correspond with every week. The more people that you send
this to, the more blessed you will feel. And the better you'll get in reaching
out to those you care about.
"You've got to dance like nobody's watching, and love like
it's never going to hurt."
"People say true friends must always hold hands, but true
friends don't need to hold hands because they know the other hand will always
be there." - Unknown
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Everday is a blessing, everyone around you is a gift, everything has its time.. The important thing is you have loved and lived life to the fullness of your heart...This moment is the right time to take. Life is so short that you need to take every single moment always as a special occasion specially to the love of your life..
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